Wednesday, May 31, 2006

So Many Things Not About You...

Last Wednesday I experienced, what I'm now lovingly referring to as, a complete mental breakdown. How else do you explain leaving your cell phone at home, hoping on a plane and leaving continental North America on two hours notice for two and a half days without telling a soul?

I don't think you do.

I'm still debating weather or not I'm going to talk about it, but I'll never think of explaining it.

Anyways, I previously wrote about not being too beat up about a situation. Let's be honest for a second, I was upset about it. Yet out of it came a realization, an epiphany. I think the not talking, avoiding and snubbing all stemmed from the fact I was scared. Scared that I actually needed someone in my life. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I was fully aware that I needed someone to be a part of my life. I don't like feelings, I don't like talking about feelings and thus, did what I normally do, avoided the situation.

Last night in a park down by the water, shrouded in darkness, save for a solitary light high above, we finally spoke. Feelings were expressed and tears were shed. It's not back to normal. It's not even close. But it's a start. I'm happy for that and ready to try and take the slow road back...

Every lightening rod has to watch the storm clouds come.

Masticated Posting

Lately I've been writing and writing and writing. Traveling and traveling and traveling. Listening and listening and listening. Now, I'm slacking and slacking and slacking.

iTunes recently played:

1. Architecture In Helsinki - Tiny Paintings

2. Nada Surf - Blankest Year (Fuck Version)

3. Matisyahu - Youth (Dub)

4. Wilco - I Am Trying To Break Your Heart

5. The Duke Spirit - Patients

6. The Libertines - Horrorshow

7. Babyshambles - Fuck Forever

8. Yo La Tengo - I Shot Andy Warhol

9. The Zutons - It's The Little Things We Do

10. Gnarles Barkley - The Last Time

BONUS- 11. Sunset Rubdown - The Men Are Called Horsemen There

Come Pick Me Up


I'm going to let you all in on a secret. It's huge. It's the incredibly new concept called "creative license." It's crazy. I mean, you take moods, feelings or events and then exaggerate them to fit what your trying to write or you leave things out completely as to avoid conflict or boredom. It's fun.

Now with that said, I take creative license in about 50% of my posts on here. What's the reason? Well, I have about 40 visits a day to this thing. Nothing substantial at all, but the problem is that through the counter on the right, I only have an educated guess as to who those 40 visits are. I don't want to write something and hurt someone I care about, but I don't want to write and worry about who is reading it. I'm just stuck in the middle. Hence the tag line for the blog, "I'm probably making this up." That way I can write whatever I want and hopefully people don't take it seriously, so when I do write something heartfelt they'll think I'm just making it up.

Read it. Learn it. Love it.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


I don't know if I will get around to detailing the past 5 days of my life, I'll try, but I can't promise anything. What I just realized (through the magic of this blog) is that as of two days ago, it has been a full year since the party that formed the tripod. The three coolest motherfuckers ever. Tonight I'm hoping to prop two legs back up.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Monday, May 29, 2006

Rambling Man

So I'm home, tired and hungry. I'm going to go take a nap and then try and find this sexy beast and convince him to become my sidekick. Seriously the greatest picture in the history of photography. I wonder what type of party this was?

I'll try and post something later. Word.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Your Blood, Your Bones, Your Voice and Your Ghost

I know your sitting there expecting me to say something. To write something.

I know your sitting there expecting me to "cry out loud." To complain about a situation and probably the most awkward phone conversation of all time.

Well, I'm not going to.

Admittedly, I'm not that beat up about it. Really I just don't know what to say. Are we supposed to go back to being friends as close as we were before all this? Am I supposed to not kill babies and hookers any more? Questions, Questions, Questions.

Anyways, I'm out. I woke up this morning and decided to get out of town. So I'm catching a flight to Hawaii in about 2 hours. I'm skipping the Friday of Sasquatch and then down there for Saturday and Sunday. I probably won't have internet access at all, unless I hit a innerweb cafe.


Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Wolf Parade

I've yet to see this band live and it kills me. Yes, I've seen Sunset Rubdown twice, but... come on...

Monday, May 22, 2006

Random IMing

Mike says - dude, you ever tag team a girl????

You Are A Waterfall... says - nope

You Are A Waterfall... says - you know what they say about that right?

You Are A Waterfall... says - guy guy girl = Fag Fag Whore

Mike says - man it's not even like that.

Mike says - It's not like we crossed swords

Mike says - our balls touched once or twice but that's it

You Are A Waterfall says... - Can we change the subject

You Are A Waterfall says... - Slightly uncomfortable.

Mike says - I'm so gay aren't I

You Are A Waterfall... says - Are you hitting on me?

Time For Heroes

I really don't let too much bother me, it's just one of the perks of being, what my ex-girlfriend referred to as, emotionally distant and cold. I like to call it being superior and better than you. To each his/her own I guess.

There is one thing though, if I do care to have an opinion of you in the first place, know that it is going to stick and I'm going to care enough to be narrow minded and stubborn about it.

Point in case: My neighbor is a douchebag.

He could go on to cure cancer or somehow get Angelina Jolie to blow me, but he would still be the popped collar wearing, spiky hair having douchebag that lives next door. It's not as if he's done anything to me or even spoken with me in any way, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to take a time machine back 30 years ago and punch his mother in the stomach.

Oh and on a side note, today I had tacos. They were delicious, thanks for asking.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Mr. T For President

I only strolled in the door about 2 minutes ago and am actually turning around and leaving in about another 5. I don't have anything to say right now beyond that. Well, nothing I could write down before I go. Tonight should be fun though. Call a bitch.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Britney Is A Responsible Parent

If you were to sit me down two days ago and ask me what the funniest thing I'd ever seen or heard was, it would have been that one time your mom told me she doesn't "do that type of thing." Trust me, she does and it's beautiful.

This all changed yesterday when Britney Spears almost dropped her baby in front of a crowd of people and then proceeded to go cry inside a restaurant. She was probably crying because they didn't have the right parking space and hook up for her mobile home, but who can tell these days.

Baby in one hand, vodka tonic in another

Can't... drop... the drink...


oh thank god... the drinks okay.


This is funny to me.

Nice outfit

Hell Has Frozen Over

I'm bored and officially hate myself. Why? Because I actually finished this survey. Emma, you are welcome.

1) Where was your last kiss? At your moms place. She says Hi.

2) What color boxers/underwear are you wearing? I’m not wearing any. Too restrictive.

3) What are you listening to right now? "Sticks and Stones" by Babyshambles. Pete Doherty is my idol

4) Whats your favorite number?: 6 baby, it’s always 6

5) What was the last thing you ate? Pussy… Wait, no, the heart of a dead baby.

6) When was the last time you smiled? I have a medical condition that prevents me from smiling. Luckily it doesn’t prevent me from masturbating and eating beef jerkey. That would be a heartbreaker.

7) How is the weather right now?: It’s 2 am, what do you think? That’s right, sunny as hell.

8) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Emmmmmmma

9) What is your worst habit? It's not so much a habit as it is a gift from god. I'm stubborn.

10) Do you drink? Only the blood of virgins.

11) Ever laid under the stars? A better question would be: have you ever come up with a survey that doesn’t suck balls?

12) When was the last time, if ever, you blacked out? My birthday. I don’t remember from the point I got into a cab, until I woke up at 3 pm the next day. Apparently I got into bed and stole the covers from Alborz and then passed out… while he was having sex with some girl. Priceless.

13.) Do you have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend? I don’t get involved in anything that I wouldn’t respect myself for doing.

14) Your Hair color? I

15) Eye Color?: Hate

16) Do you wear contacts?: You

17) Favorite Holiday? The one where jesus died.

18) Favorite Month? April.

19) Have you ever cried for no reason?: I’ve made other people cry for no reason, does that count?

20) What was the last movie you watched?: Don’t Be A Menace To South Central, While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood. I woud have said Porno, but I don’t consider them movies, more of a "how-to" manual for life.

21) Favorite Day of the Year?: Two days before the day after tomorrow

22) Are you too shy to ask someone out?: Are you hitting on me Mr. Survey…

23) Last advice you received? "Grab your balls and talk to her"… hahahaha

24) What was the highlight of your weekend? My lawyer advises me not to answer this question, but between you and me... it involves a mexican midget with a speech impediment. Shhhhh.

25) Chocolate or Vanilla? Melato

26) What is the last text message you received? "Dude, fucked a fat chick, call me after work"

28) Who was the last person to call you? Leah

29) Whats you favorite sports team? The West Chester Abortionists

30) When was the last time you slept in someone else's bed? Honostly? I don’t "sleep" in other peoples beds… OH! Fuck I’m good.

31) Favorite basketball team? The one with the white guy on it. No, not him, the other one.

32) Favorite football Team? The Cowboys, baby

33) What were you doing before this? Living a long and happy life

34) Any pets? No, but I do like heavy pet-ting.

35) Favorite Drink? Zima. And I wear polo shirts with my coller popped up and spike my hair and put on cologne to go to the gym. Don’t forget to wax those eye brows….

36) Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Salted and lightly buttered. Like my women.

38) Favorite flower? If I answer this, I fear my balls will fully retract into my stomach.

39) When was the last time you got in trouble? I’m probably in trouble right now, but I’m a guy so I don’t know it yet. I’m sorry.

40) What did you DO LAST? STOP YELLING AT ME!!!

41) Have you ever loved someone? I love someone right now.

42) Who would you like to see right now? I refuse to answer this question

43) Are you still friends with people from kindergarden? My kindergarden class perished in a horrible finger painting accident. I’m the lone survivor. I’ve been cleared of all charges.

44) Have you ever fired a gun? Haven’t you heard… I shoot faces.

45) Do you like to travel by plane? I like to travel by fat person

46) What websites do you go to frequently? This one and the ones in the side bar.

48) How many pillows do you sleep with? That would be deux.

49) Are you missing someone? I refuse to answer this question.

50) How was your day? I went for sushi, raided Zulu Records, sat on the beach drinking Corona for a couple hours, ended up at Anatoli’s for dinner (thanks Iani) and then back to an apartment downtown for wine and conversation… So yeah, my day sucked.

51) Who is most likely to do this? Hopefully nobody I know is stupid enough to do this. Hopefully nobody I know was stupid enough to read this thing. Still reading? Well, hi there little fella. Bored are we? Yeah, me too. Want a cookie? There ya go, everyone likes a cookie.

52) Who is least likely to respond? I'm not naming names like that evil witch Emma. SEE! I DID IT!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

One Year Ago Today...

Duality Vs Advaita

"Wa men kulli shayen khalqna zawgyne la'alakum tadhkaroon."

In english: "And all things have We created in pairs in order that you may reflect on it."

Reflection and duality have seemingly been such a large part of my life lately, so when I read these words I was stopped cold. I stopped and tried to understand the implications or true meaning behind these words and racked my brain long and hard without any real answer coming to mind. Maybe I've been away from school to long. Anyways, it was after maybe an hour of reading and reflecting that my mind turned to a friends discussion of "The Flip Flop Extreme Theory."

To quickly summarize what I remember about the theory, it revolves around the idea that you can only have one perspective at a time and therefore you cannot fully put yourself or your mind into more than one feeling at a given moment. Thus, our lives are filled by constantly jumping from one extreme to another, or flip flopping back and forth (correct me if I'm getting this wrong). Which is basically the theory of advaita, or "non-duality."

The idea behind duality is that everything is polaric. Everything is interrelated and connected, because without one there cannot be the other. Like hate and love for example, if you did not know or experience love, it would be impossible to understand or experience hate. Like anything that can be experienced or thought, they just cannot exist independently.

So what does all this mean? If thoughts and feelings cannot exist independently, why can you only focus on one at a time? Are you really just focusing on one at a time or are you focusing on the two opposites? Have I truly gone insane? These are the questions that I've started to ask myself and I think these are the questions that I'll end up killing myself over. I've started writing about my thoughts in greater detail and will post them at a later date. Same blog time... Same blog channel.

Random IMing

Megan says - So are you going to return my phone call or what?

Behold says - Why? We're talking righ now!

Behold says - YOu want to do both at the same time?

Megan says - No. I've just called you like 4 times without you calling back

Behold says - I want to do both at the same time

Behold says - PICK UP YOUR PHONE!

Megan says - I don't want to talk on the phone now...

Megan says - I just thought you were avoiding me

Megan says - just call me back sometime

Behold says - I just called you back!

Behold says - Make up your mind woman

Behold says - Are you pms-ing

Behold says - wait. I don't want to know that

Behold says - just go eat a tub of ice cream, throw on your tegan and sarah cd, cry your self to sleep and call me in 5 days.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


I said last week that I would update this thing daily and I've kept my promise. The latest update? Trust me, it's there (You just have to look a little). As for now, I'm off to North Van to watch the end of the Edmonton game.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Thunder, Lightning, Links!

  • Reason #359 why Japanese Television is better than ours. I give you, SILENT LIBRARY
  • Pictures from what may very well be the 2006 'man of the year' competition.


Look, I know I'm pretty, I know girls want me and I know I'm the man. The only thing that has ever been in question is how highly I appeal to different demographics. I'm not the most religious guy in the world so I didn't know if Christians would want me. I'm pretty fucking white, so how do black women feel about me? Most of all, how do midgets feel about me?

Well now I know. They all want me. Bad. My email inbox has just been flooded with emails from Christian, black and midget dating companies wanting to hook this sexy piece of ass up with fine young women. I can't delete these messages fast enough.

Some actual Subject headings:

"Meet Sexy Single Christians Under The Eyes Of God"

"Meet Your SOULmate today"

"Little People In Need Of Big Lovin' "

A Couple of Screen Shots:

Christian Singles - I don't know why they'd want to hook me up with a Siamese twin. It's a little creepy considering that the person attatched to her is a guy. Fuck it, I can work around it. OPP baby, OPP.

Black Singles - This girl is hot so I was pretty happy to get this one. That was until I noticed the writing at the bottom. I think she might be a hooker. I mean, it says I only get seven days free. Unless I'm the one getting paid for sex, whoring is a deal breaker.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Working Hard

Today sucked. It was brutal and I don't know how it could have gotten any worse.

I mean, I woke up and went for coffee on the false creek sea wall and just sat in the sun until about 2 when I got a phone call to go to work. I didn't work though, just sat at the top of the mountain drinking, sun tanning and bbq-ing, after which it was back down to Yale Town for dinner. Fuck, life is hard.

Off to Ambleside to relax a little more. I'll post something worthwhile when I get home.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

That's How It Goes Baby

I'm beyond enjoying the new Sunset Rubdown CD. Sunset Rubdown, for those that don't know, is the side project of Wolfparade's Spencer Krug and the band that I've been plugging at nauseum for the past couple of weeks. Why do I mention this? Well, the title of the post is a lyric from a song I was just listening to. A lyric that made me laugh when I put it in the context of the past couple of nights. Well, the past month and a half if you want to get specific.

You see, I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole, but that's how it goes baby. That's how it goes.

I've written posts about the fact that I threw away the friendship of someone that was closer to me this past year than anyone else. I've also written about how much I regretted doing it and I wish I could have taken what I said back. Furthermore, I've written about how stubborn I've been in not making the effort to rectify the problem or just reach out to her and let her know how I'm feeling.

The past two nights I've kinda-sorta had the opportunity to do just that. We've been in the same place at the same time, but I flicked the asshole switch and spent the nights not even looking in her direction. Why? It's complicated, but more so than anything I don't want to act like what happened didn't happen. I didn't want to act like everything was fine when I still feel as I did when this started. I still feel as I did before this started. To move forward we'd have to sit down and talk. I hate "talking" and I'm pretty sure being drunk at a bar or a party is not the best way to try and have that conversation.

We'll see what happens this week. Maybe I'll call or maybe I'll be a douchebag. I know the ball has pretty much been in my court since the whole situation started, but I'm that much more inclined to wait until she makes the first move. Wait. She already did that.

Mothers Day

I love my mother. I don't think that there has been a second in my 23 years on this planet that I haven't. I would never classify myself as a mama's boy, especially considering that I see my mother maybe once every two weeks, but I know for a fact that I am a better person because of her. Hell, I am a person because of her.

She is definetly not as cool as Teri or as young and fun as Lorraine, but that doesn't stop me from loving her any more. It also doesn't stop me from showing up to every single family get together we've had over the past two years as hung over as Pete Doherty the first morning of rehab. I don't know what it is or how it happens, but at least I'm consistent.

I tell her I lover her, but I don't think I tell her that I appreciate everything she's done and sacrificed for my sisters and I. I'm eternally grateful for everything and don't think that I could ever fully repay her. I am going to try though. That is until she gets too old to take care of herself, at that point I'm sending her to an old folks home.

The end.

Yo Mama

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Short N' Sweet

Last night was chaulk full of differing emotions. It was funny. I'll write something up later, but I'm off to the beach at the moment. Call me.

Lost Dog

(Stolen from Raymi)

Friday, May 12, 2006

Rough Itinerary


  • Doctor
  • Auto Body Shop
  • Cypress
  • Beach
  • Drink Drink Drink
  • BBQ @ Casa de Boshell
  • Drink Drink Drink
  • Big night out

For the most part my plans here aren't set in stone. After getting the car looked at I'm just playing it by year and hoping to meet up with people that have plans to be at the above mentioned locations. What are you doing? Want in? Call me.


Early Morning Insomniac Ramblings

4:30 am. I think I'm officially delirious.

Let's pretend for a second that I deserve to have been with all the girls I've been lucky enough to have been with. Let's pretend that I actually deserve to have done the things I've done and to have seen the things I have seen. Would I be grateful? Would I have done anything different? Would I be sitting here typing a post about hockey or politics instead of women and sex?

What I am fully aware of is that I probably didn't deserve to be with any of them. That all of them probably deserved better. You see, I have a friend who is a far better person than I, but hasn't been with someone in two years. Why is that? I really don't know. Maybe it's a lack of motivation on his part or maybe he really just doesn't care about any of that stuff. Maybe he understands something I don't. Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

I don't know.

I would be lying if I said that I cared about each of the girls I've been with. I don't. What I do care about is that every one of them in small and big ways contributed to who I am today. Each and every one has had a impact on my life. Good or bad, it is still an impact and I guess what I want to say is this, thank you.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

New Tattoo

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Yes, this is real. The picture was emailed to me a few weeks ago and I didn't think I'd ever show it to anyone, let alone post it. I'm not telling you the owners name, but if you know anything about me you could probably figure it out. That's all I'm going to say about it. Period. I'll leave the opinions and comments up to you.

On a different note and one related to my last post, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be sleeping tonight. I'm on my way out the door at the moment, but that has nothing to do with it. Since the crash I haven't slept more than a couple hours a night, so if your up late and bored give me a shout because I'm sure I'll be up masturbating, taking over the world or something else that defies comprehension.


Being me is tiring. Working, drinking, car crashing, softballing, hockey playing, partying, sexing, bashing, killing, etc. There's no time for my favorite ing, sleep-ing. I'm seriously looking into developing a coke or meth problem so I can continue to live the life I live. I'm consulting a physician tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

PIXIES - Alec Eiffel

I'm posting this video because Tony Pierce brought up Weezer and I was reminded of their cover of a PIXIES song. A song that is pretty much better than anything they've done since "The Blue Album." This isn't it, but it's still better than everything on "Make Believe."

Where Are My Panties?

In about one hour I have to cross a perilous bridge into North Vancouver to go talk to ICBC, or the devil. I forget. Either way, since I'll be over there, I'm pimping out the pleasure of my company. Call me.

To hold you over and appease some douchebag who emailed me about the songs I talked about yesterday, here are a couple links. Word.

Sunset Rubdown - Stadiums and Shrines II

Ex-Boyfriends - Him For Me

(right click, save target as)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Shine A Light

Lately my writing has been brief and schizophrenic. Writing from different parts of myself and about any and everything. All of this done without an actual purpose to my writing beyond just writing to write. To kill time doing something I like to do. Yet, I sit here thinking about a million and one things and wanting to write about a million and two.

Should I write a post reaching out to that special someone? Should I write something explaining why I've made certain decisions? Why I haven't made certain decisions? Should I write a love letter to the wonderful weather that has been following me around from Vancouver to Calgary and from Whistler to Seattle? Should I let you know not to worry, that everything will be okay? That I still want to be with you? That I still don't want to see you? That I miss you?

I want to sit and tell all of you everything. I want to sit here and tell you that I got into a car accident yesterday. No, it wasn't my fault, but my wrist and neck are fuckedededed. I want to tell you that I hopefully have a new job that will mean more money. I want to tell you that I have a boner right now thinking about the Bright Eyes concert coming up. I want to tell you that I came already thinking about Sasquatch.

What I will tell you for sure is that I'm going to try and update at least daily. As long as I find myself in front of a computer I will update this thing. Be it a picture or an essay, expect something. Word.

I'll Believe In Anything

I bought a baby girl a couple weeks ago. I know, I know, it goes against everything I stand for. I'm not sorry though, I love her. She's so tiny. And shiny. And Black. I named her Podtsi. She loves me and my taste in music and movies. I take her everywhere and we dance and sing and sit and watch. It's great.

I talk about her a lot. I guess I seem to talk a lot more about the movies and TV shows I have on her though because enough people actually thought to question me if there is any music on there. Well, of course there is. 4000+ songs of pure gold. Here are 10 songs that have found themselves in heavy rotation over the past week:

1. Sunset Rubdown - A Day In The Graveyard II

2. Neutral Milk Hotel - Holland, 1945

3. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Phenomena

4. Calexico - Cruel

5. The Go! Team - The Power Is On

6. Architecture In Helsinki - The Cemetery

7. Elliot Smith - alphabet Town

8. Metric - Wet Blanket

9. Mew - Apocalypto

10. Ex-Boyfriends - Him For Me

BONUS: Sunset Rubdown - Stadiums and Shrines II

Monday, May 08, 2006

Shut Up, I Am Dreaming

It's 1:29 am and quite bright out. The sky is clear, the wind is blowing and the streets are completely empty. I'm tired and unreasonably upset that I don't smell like stripper. The apartment is empty and the only sound in the room is a constant hum leaking out slowly from the second computer sitting behind me.

It is also day 7 of my suffering with what I now lovingly refer to as "The Plague." It truly is getting to the point that I don't want to go on living like this and would sacrifice an 8 year old Mayan virgin if it meant I would get the use of my nose back. Am I exaggerating? Obviously. I still think that my point is an important one though, come over and make me soup. Word.

Saturday, May 06, 2006


Some people drink. Some people drink too much. The New Jersey Devils are losing 4-0 at this very moment and my hetero lifemate, pictured here in all his glory, is going to drink too much tonight because of it. Me? Well, I'm going to laugh tonight because of it. Word.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Random MSNing

Absolut says: You coming over later?

What's The Word says: You ever wonder if I'm the greatest person ever

What's The Word says: ?

Absolut says: What?

What's The Word says: Yeah, me too.

Absolut says: Are you drunk?

Absolut says: I'm going to go to bed if you're not coming over...

What's The Word says: No time

What's The Word says: I found someone else

What's The Word says: She has one leg and a speech impediment, but she does this thing with her tongue.

Absolut says: You know masturbation is illegal in some cultures.

What's The Word says: It's illegal to dance after 2am in Utah.

What's The Word says: If it's illegal to masturbate there I'd do both at the same time.

What's The Word says: Public masturbation is hot

What's The Word says: Couple that with mormons and speech impediments and I can't contain myself

Absolut says: Oh god

Absolut says: You need help

What's The Word says: I bet mormons are freaky. Like, "stick a finger in my ass while punching me in the back of the head and having my mom watch" freaky

What's The Word says: You can't teach that.

What's The Word says: but what am I telling you for

Absolut says: Just stay home

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I Don't Even Know

Today I find myself in a funny situation. A pickle, if you may.

Wait. No. Let me start over.

Everything around me today is a pickle. Literally. Everywhere I look people are eating or talking about pickles. Did I miss a meeting? Did I not get the memo about the TPS reports?

To start, a kid was walking through Park Royal today eating a pickle like it was a chocolate bar.

Emma is writing about pickles.

This dude has a pickle in his nose.

Ciavarro is writing about, maybe, the smartest man on the planet who finds himself stuck in a pickle.

Perhaps the scariest of all, if you google image search the word "pickle" you stumble across the very face that haunts my dreams at night. Maude.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


I used to love to wake up and sleep all day. It was like a sport that I was best at. Wake up. Sleep. Going for gold. Today ai trie d to go for it. I failed.

I came home from Calgary and all I got you was this lousy cold. Sure, I had a blast. Yes, I drank more than is humanly possible in a four day period and I'm seeking help. Yes I went to more paries than I should have, met more people than is necessary and... well I can't can't go into it. Yet all I have to show for it is a cough and these scratches on my ass and bakc. Women are demanding.

May 26-29th Im going to Sasquatch. The music festival. I'm going because there are more bands there then I wanted to see at Coachella. Not that I'm bitter I got sold out and lost a friend. BUT I'm bitter that I got sold out and lost a friend. I guess we are sorta talking again and I guess we will more than likely patch things up. I also guess that it was more than likly my fault that thinsg wrked out the way theyy did in the first place. But this is a friend who Im starting to think I won't get over. I'm making it up by going to a better festival. Word.

How drunk am I right now. I'd like to thank Emma for this one. Fuck slpell check.

PS - I want to thank Tony Pierce for the birthday shout out the other day. Dude is the best blogger in the universe and I'm shocked I didn't mention it earlier.

Monday, May 01, 2006

The Champ Is Here

I'm home from Calgary. Although this picture is from my birthday (right around the time I lost all my motor skills), it's a pretty accurate reflection of how I'm feeling right now. I'm drunk. I'm tired. I want to rest on breasts

I'll recap later citizens.