Friday, May 12, 2006

Early Morning Insomniac Ramblings

4:30 am. I think I'm officially delirious.

Let's pretend for a second that I deserve to have been with all the girls I've been lucky enough to have been with. Let's pretend that I actually deserve to have done the things I've done and to have seen the things I have seen. Would I be grateful? Would I have done anything different? Would I be sitting here typing a post about hockey or politics instead of women and sex?

What I am fully aware of is that I probably didn't deserve to be with any of them. That all of them probably deserved better. You see, I have a friend who is a far better person than I, but hasn't been with someone in two years. Why is that? I really don't know. Maybe it's a lack of motivation on his part or maybe he really just doesn't care about any of that stuff. Maybe he understands something I don't. Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

I don't know.

I would be lying if I said that I cared about each of the girls I've been with. I don't. What I do care about is that every one of them in small and big ways contributed to who I am today. Each and every one has had a impact on my life. Good or bad, it is still an impact and I guess what I want to say is this, thank you.


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