That's How It Goes Baby
I'm beyond enjoying the new Sunset Rubdown CD. Sunset Rubdown, for those that don't know, is the side project of Wolfparade's Spencer Krug and the band that I've been plugging at nauseum for the past couple of weeks. Why do I mention this? Well, the title of the post is a lyric from a song I was just listening to. A lyric that made me laugh when I put it in the context of the past couple of nights. Well, the past month and a half if you want to get specific.
You see, I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole, but that's how it goes baby. That's how it goes.
I've written posts about the fact that I threw away the friendship of someone that was closer to me this past year than anyone else. I've also written about how much I regretted doing it and I wish I could have taken what I said back. Furthermore, I've written about how stubborn I've been in not making the effort to rectify the problem or just reach out to her and let her know how I'm feeling.
The past two nights I've kinda-sorta had the opportunity to do just that. We've been in the same place at the same time, but I flicked the asshole switch and spent the nights not even looking in her direction. Why? It's complicated, but more so than anything I don't want to act like what happened didn't happen. I didn't want to act like everything was fine when I still feel as I did when this started. I still feel as I did before this started. To move forward we'd have to sit down and talk. I hate "talking" and I'm pretty sure being drunk at a bar or a party is not the best way to try and have that conversation.
We'll see what happens this week. Maybe I'll call or maybe I'll be a douchebag. I know the ball has pretty much been in my court since the whole situation started, but I'm that much more inclined to wait until she makes the first move. Wait. She already did that.
You see, I'm a jerk. I'm an asshole, but that's how it goes baby. That's how it goes.
I've written posts about the fact that I threw away the friendship of someone that was closer to me this past year than anyone else. I've also written about how much I regretted doing it and I wish I could have taken what I said back. Furthermore, I've written about how stubborn I've been in not making the effort to rectify the problem or just reach out to her and let her know how I'm feeling.
The past two nights I've kinda-sorta had the opportunity to do just that. We've been in the same place at the same time, but I flicked the asshole switch and spent the nights not even looking in her direction. Why? It's complicated, but more so than anything I don't want to act like what happened didn't happen. I didn't want to act like everything was fine when I still feel as I did when this started. I still feel as I did before this started. To move forward we'd have to sit down and talk. I hate "talking" and I'm pretty sure being drunk at a bar or a party is not the best way to try and have that conversation.
We'll see what happens this week. Maybe I'll call or maybe I'll be a douchebag. I know the ball has pretty much been in my court since the whole situation started, but I'm that much more inclined to wait until she makes the first move. Wait. She already did that.
posted by Geoff at 11:11 PM
6 Comments:
Dude, grab your balls and talk to her. You are wasting your time and energy whining.
Thank you. One for the advice and two for the laugh. Unsolicited advice from people completely removed from a situation is usually something I'm not lucky enough to recieve.
My post was written off the top of my head for the sake of just writing to write. I'm more than aware of what I have do in the situation. I'm not whining about anything. Now go play in traffic. Or do you think you can withstand the blistering waves of FUCK OFF.
I'm listening to an awesome song. It's called "Long Overdue."
For once, I don't know what to say...
Well now I feel special. Just say something, anything, to me. Maybe call me. I have Wednesday off. So yeah. I'm sick of this.
I've wanted to reply to this a lot over the past two days, but everything I want to say I want to say in person. I'm sick of this to, but it's a matter of me being ready...
Post a Comment
<< Home