Which is Better: Coldplay or A Bowl Of Rice Krispies? An Objective Analysis

I seem to constantly offend my, obviously moronic, friends with my disdain for the band Coldplay. After more than a couple arguments, I have become fed up with the constant back tracking and talking in circles. All of which has led me here, an objective analysis.

1. Who knows how many band members are in Coldplay? You do? No you don't, nobody does. How many are in The Rice Krispies. That's right, three. Snap, Crackle and Pop. Whereas Coldplay is known almost strictly for Chris Martin, Rice Krispies are known as a complete unit. You don't see Snap or Crackle out there on their own trying to be the face of the band, all the while leaving Pop behind. They don't fight over who gets the most air time or the most magazine covers. Without unity, there is no way a band can survive or truly succeed. Advantage: Rice Krispies.

2. Coldplay has long been hailed as one of the best bands in the world. They formed in 1998 while attending university in London. Snap, Crackle and Pop first formed their group in 1933 and have been amongst the most popular breakfast cereal rock bands of all time. They made their first television performance in the 1960's and have been a constant fixture in households ever since. Advantage: Rice Krispies.

3. Rice Krispies really only perform quick 5-10 minute sets. If left out on the stage for too long they become soft and mushy. Coldplay's average set time ranges from 45-90 minutes. Advantage: Coldplay.

4. With Coldplay, every CD sounds the same. They all include the soft music that frequently makes grown men want to vomit and leaves you feeling hollow, empty and depressed. Rice Krispies, although using similar sounds, never play the same song twice. Every bowl is filled with a new abstract sound and with a different order. Substance that leaves you full and happy, even though its usually over very quickly. Advantage: Rice Krispies.

5. Chris Martin is married to a beautiful and award winning actress. I don't know about the rest of the band, but if they aren't in a relationship they have too many girl fans to not be getting laid. Snap, Crackle and Pop on the other hand have never been known to have a girlfriend (or boyfriend). Advantage: Coldplay

6. A Coldplay CD is going to run you about $14.99, and they've only ever released three albums. A box of Rice Krispies is going to run you about $4, and they have over 5 different kinds. The replay value on a Coldplay CD is almost non-existent, while one box of Rice Krispies will keep you happy for weeks. Advantage: Rice Krispies

7. Coldplay= bland. Rice Krispies are delicious and come in more than one flavor (Chocolate, Frosted, With marshmallow). Advantage: Rice Krispies.

8. The members of Coldplay are known to fight for debt relief, equality and other charitable orginizations around the world. Snap, Crackle and Pop could care less. Advantage: Coldplay

9. Chris Martin named his daughter Apple. Snap, Crackle and Pop's names are... Snap, Crackle and Pop. Advantage: Even.

The Winner:

FUCK COLDPLAY

Camping Pictures (No Whistler)

So I got back today from my little vacation from vacationing. Here are some quick pics from the first day of camping (I would have had more, but I moved my camera to the car and it got lost until we packed for whistler and by then the battery was dead).

Robbie (aka. Lois, aka. Drama)


Steve-O (always the rockstar)


The Man Himself


Crystal


Gurney


Alborz and Sissons (talked politics for 90% of the night)


Jennine


Jennine and Mike-O


Playing Soccer/Drinking/Falling Down


Cleaning Up After The Big Game


Crystal Rockin' The Best Glasses Ever


Take 2


Sean (aka. Man-Boy)


Phil, Alborz, Brandon and Sarah

On The Road Again...

I'm leaving tomorrow morning to go camping in Squamish. I may have to come back down on Saturday, but because I'm heading to Whistler on Sunday, I most likely won't be back until Monday or Tuesday. I have my camera back so hopefully I'll have a butt-load of pictures to post up here.

Later

Geoff and Jennine's Misadventure.

(Note: This trip happened about 3 weeks ago now. I was going to just give up on it, but the events that took place were just too damn crazy to forget.)

Tuesday, It's an absolutley perfect day. Without a cloud in the sky or a worry in the world, Jennine and I set off for Galliano Island. After dinner we secure a spot on the top deck where we do nothing but sit, drink, talk and enjoy the weather. After what seems like almost no time at all, we pull into the Galliano ferry terminal. One problem: We look around and nobody is getting off. Not thinking to much of it we sit and talk some more. A minute or two passes and we see one woman head inside and downstairs. We take this as our cue to leave, so we get up and follow her. She walks down to a lower level, but she ends up sitting down and opening up a magazine. Are we supposed to get off? There hasn't been an announcement? Confused, we sit down and continue our conversation. Maybe 5 minutes pass by the time we do hear an announcement. It's muffled so I can't quite make it out. What I sure as hell can make out are the two loud horn blows and the rumble of the engine as the ferry starts to back out of the dock.

Yup, that's right. We are leaving Galliano Island.

We hop up out of our seats and flee as if we stole something. What the hell do we do? In a panic we find a woman who works on the ferry and ask her what the hell is going on. She confirms what we already know and takes us to the woman in charge. She radios and asks the captain if the ferry can pull back in. It can't. She radios our new destination, Mayne Island, and checks if someone there might be able to help us. Maybe. So we sit back down with nothing else to do but laugh at how great our trip has been so far. We dock on Mayne Island, where we actually get off the ferry this time. We are given a number of a man named Al who has agreed to drive us in his boat back to Galliano. Only problem, we have to get to Miners Bay in 15 minutes and we are told its a 30 minute walk. Remember, this is on an Island that neither of us knew even existed. We hitch hike.

10 minutes later we hop out of a truck bed at Miners Bay and cross our fingers in the hope that Al will show up.

5-10 minutes later we find ourselves on a boat with a man named Al, leaving Mayne Island on course for Galliano.

We finally make it on to Galliano Island. By now its pretty dark and Al asks us if we know where we are going. We have no idea. We try to call Bo, Marc and Jeremy, but to no avail. We tell Al that we will just sit and keep trying our friends. Al leaves. About 30 minutes and 40 un-answered phone calls pass before we decide that we have to try and find our way into town. We walk until we come to a big fork in the road, with an even bigger question. Left or right? We choose left and continue down the road for 15 minutes until we hit a dead end and an even more dead beach. We retrace our steps back to the marina where we continue to sit, bitch about our situation and drink our problems away.

Another 30 - 40 minutes pass before we decide that our friends suck and we will in fact have to venture off on our own without any direction. We come to the same fork in the road, but we decide to go right this time. We walk and walk, for I don't even know how long, before we come across a gas station. Just as we approach the gas station we see the first car since we saw Al drive away over an hour ago. We flag down the car and ask in desperation, "Where's the town?"

They laugh at us.

After a quick little talk and explanation of our situation, they tell Jennine and I that they would drive us to the one and only bar on the island to find our friends. We hop in the back of another truck and head off in the direction that we just came from. After a quick little drive, we find ourselves approaching a school. What the hell is going on? We're going to die. Turns out that they needed to stop for some herbal refreshments. 10 minutes pass and we are back on the road towards the bar and, hopefully, our friends.

We get to The Hummingbird, where we find our old buddy Al, who's now completely shit housed and completely amused at the fact we haven't found our friends or where we are staying yet. We sit at the bar and order a couple of drinks while still desperately trying to find the guys. Again, no luck at all. We drink more. After maybe 20 minutes we give up completely and just figure that once we are good and drunk we will come up with the perfect plan. At this point we start to mingle and meet the 12 other people in the bar, basically the entire population of Galliano Island. We explain our situation to some of the people, who seem to think that this is one of the funnier things they have ever heard. I figure not too much happens on that Island and let it slide. Anyways, after a couple of hours we are invited to go party at Al's place where we are also welcome to stay if need be.

Now at Al's house, we again find ourselves surrounded by the entire population of Galliano Island for a good old fashioned house party. It is an absolute blast. I've never seen so much unintentional comedy in one place at one time and I would at times find myself uncontrollably laughing at some of the things being said and being done. I decide that Galliano Island rocks.

We stay up most of the night partying, until deciding to crash at about 4/4:30am. After a short nap we are rather abruptly woken up and scared shitless. We leave at 5, and I wish I could tell you why. Scary. Galliano sucks.

We walk around the island aimlessly for a couple of hours before settling down in front of the local bakery. We pass out. The bakery opens and we move inside to get some more rest. We ultimately end up having to call back home to get the address of the place of Bo's parents. Now that we know where we are going, we walk 45 minutes to the cabin. Walking back past the Bar, past Al's house, past the marina and through the side streets of Galliano, we finally get there. We are greeted with the question, " what the hell happened to you guys?"

They have no idea.

The next couple of days unfolded with little else of note happening, but my first 15 hours on Galliano Island will stick with me for the rest of my life. Trust me when I'm saying that what I've written is just the half of it.