This Weeks Sign That The Apocalypse Is Upon Us...

An actual definition:

Crunk. adj. 1. A mixture of the word crazy and drunk. 2. To get crazy and act a fool. 3. A specific type of hip hop music, based out of the southern United States, particularly Atlanta, Georgia.

1. "I got so damn crunk last night, I shot up dat nigga house."
2. "Lets get this thang crunk."

Laughingly Furious

Laughingly - To show or feel amusement or good humor: an experience we would laugh about later on.

Furious - Full of or characterized by extreme anger; raging.

A friend of mine recently described to me, in detail, the way he reacts in most serious situations after we got through a pretty crazy situation. Whether extremely furious, extremely scared, extremely heartbroken, extremely sad or extremely nervous, he covers it up with fits of uncontrollable giggling and laughter. He described it as a habit that he has always done in an unconscious attempt to not show any emotion.

To go in a different direction, I found myself sitting here in front of the computer, reading a blog, absolutely furious. Yet, at the same time I also found myself sitting in front of the same computer, reading the same blog, laughing my ass off. For those that have had the pleasure of getting to know me, you might have heard that the one thing I cannot stand is dishonesty or maybe more importantly, people who talk behind other peoples backs. I hate people who are fake, because all that they end up bringing to a situation is drama. For better or worse, be honest and be yourself and even if we don't get along, I will at least respect you.

Now, the problem that I have is not so much someone that is running their mouth about me. I'm not 100% sure that they are even talking about me. Hell, I'm not even friends with this person or in a situation where I will even see them. The only relationship that I had with this person was through someone else and thus a situation of necessity and now that is over. This person didn't come out and blatantly bash me, but they might as well have. Like I said, I'm not 100% sure that they are talking about me, but I'd say I'm at least 90% given the context and the many many subliminal shots fired my way. I would throw a few quotes from the above stated blog up, but I don't want to make this more obvious than it is and my point is anonymity.

So why am I mad, especially given the above stated facts? I honestly do not know. I think that maybe more than anything it was that I genuinely thought that this guy was cool and now I don't know where to begin. I usually have a pretty good bullshit detector and now I'm questioning every conversation we had. Maybe I'm mad at what else was in the blog, what the context was and what this means someone thinks of me as a person. Maybe I'm mad at the stuff that was in the blog that didn't have anything to do with me and would ultimately change the whole direction of the post. I find it funnier more than anything though. Like the title suggests, I'm laughingly furious. I find it funny that I care. Funny that it is even worth talking about (especially given the time that has passed). All I know is that for a second there, I was definitely in a 'surly' mood. Back to regular scheduled programming.

Bulletin

Tomorrow... Today... However you want to look at it... There is going to be a big, big, BIG house party Friday May 27th. I feel obligated to invite any and everyone. If you know me, it's at Phil's place. If you don't know where that is, email me or call me. You should be there, because it is going to be THAT much fun.

The second part to the "Duality" post is still coming. Since my near death experience/moment of clarity I have been pre-occupied.

Moment Of Clarity

On Saturday May 21, at approximately 5:00am, in the middle of nowhere, I experienced what drug addicts or alcoholics might refer to as, "a moment of clarity." Laying in a tent, heart pounding, my mind was still and clear. Almost as if a light was turned on, everything seemed to make sense. Nothing quite like a near death experience to make you prioritize and look at your life differently.

Glad to be here.

Junk Mail

I usually never read the junk mail that finds its way into my email box, but today for some reason I did. What a wonderful way to start the day.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you've conquered human nature . While we look to the dramatist to give romance to realism, we ask of the actor to give realism to romance. Action is coarsened thought thought becomes concrete, obscure, and unconscious.The longest absence is less perilous to love than the terrible trials of incessant proximity."


(Part 2 of The Duality arguement soon)

Duality Vs Advaita (Part 1: The Introduction)

"Wa men kulli shayen khalqna zawgyne la'alakum tadhkaroon."

In english: "And all things have We created in pairs in order that you may reflect on it."

Reflection and duality have seemingly been such a large part of my life lately, so when I read these words I was stopped cold. I stopped and tried to understand the implications or true meaning behind these words. I racked my brain long and hard without any real answer coming to mind. Maybe I've been away from school to long. Anyways, it was after maybe an hour of reading and reflecting that my mind turned to a friends discussion of "The Flip Flop Extreme Theory."

To quickly summarize what I remember about the theory, it revolves around the idea that you can only have one perspective at a time and therefore you cannot fully put yourself or your mind into more than one feeling at a given moment. Thus, our lives are filled by constantly jumping from one extreme to another, or flip flopping back and forth (correct me if I'm getting this wrong). Which is basically the theory of advaita, or "non-duality."

The idea behind duality is that everything is polaric. Everything is interrelated and connected, because without one there cannot be the other. Like hate and love for example, if you did not know or experience love, it would be impossible to understand or experience hate. Like anything that can be experienced or thought, they just cannot exist independently.

So what does all this mean? If thoughts and feelings cannot exist independently, why can you only focus on one at a time? Are you really just focusing on one at a time or are you focusing on the two opposites? Have I truly gone insane? These are the questions that I've started to ask myself and I think these are the questions that I'll end up killing myself over. I've started writing about my thoughts in greater detail and will post them at a later date. Same blog time... Same blog channel.

The Bunny

My new entry for best picture ever. I cannot explain it, but aside from the minor cropping issue at the bottom, I just absolutely love this photo.

15 Words That Should Exist

I feel as if I should really be posting something today, but I'm completely worn out to the point that I cannot even think straight. Thus, I have found myself stealing from a fellow blogger. 15 words that should exist, borrowed from Mel's Mindcave,

1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

3. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

4. DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

5. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

6. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the cinema who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

7. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people manoeuvering for one armrest in a cinema.

8. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press the lift button, the faster it will arrive.

9. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

10. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

11. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

12. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

13. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialling a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

14. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

15. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Let The Sunshine In

I find it kind of ironic that on a day that saw absolutely no sun, a day in which the sky was filled with nothing but differing shades of grey, I had this great sun filled adventure.

I woke up feeling somewhat down. I cannot explain it, but I was feeling dizzy and light headed. I decided that maybe it was all of the toxins that fill the air at my fathers apartment and so I got dressed and went for a walk. I left around 12 or so and figured I'd do the usual jaunt around the False Creek sea wall. 20 minutes or so later, I found myself sitting in Bojangles Cafe in Yaletown having a conversation with a 60 year old mother of 3. She was in town from London for a wedding and just happened to be one of the most pleasant people I have ever met. I didn't say an awful lot during the conversation, instead I just listened to a number of fascinating stories. It was a completely random meeting, but one that put a huge smile on my face and I was sad to end the conversation so early.

After finishing my drink and heading on my way, I walked up to Granville Street and continued down to Robson. I meandered my way through the crowd of mid day shoppers before planting myself on the steps of the Vancouver Art Gallery. I sat and watched as the entire city walked by, going about whatever it is they were going about. After sitting for a while, I awoke from my inner monologue (see daze) and started to imagine who these people walking by were and what they were doing. I created these vast imaginary lives for the people and even gave a lot of them names. It was fun and provided me with a good laugh.

Pretty soon it was 4:30 and I decide that I might want to start heading back home. I walked around to the front of the art gallery and headed down Georgia street in the direction of Granville. I stopped and watched a group of people playing hackey sack and the bongos before continuing on my way. The rest of the way I just slowly made my way through the people and streets of Vancouver. I just took everything in and cleared my mind of any and all stress in my life. When I finally came home and opened the door to the apartment, I had spent the better part of 6 hours really opening my eyes to my surroundings. When I sat down at the computer I felt, almost, complete. It was a good day.

The Epitome Of Cool

Yesterday, for some reason or another, I was compelled to write about the word 'cool' and what it is supposed to mean. When I was done ranting, I started thinking about what the very epitome of cool is. What/who completely embodies coolness? As I wrote in my post yesterday, it is all relative. Like beauty it is somewhat in the eye of the beholder, not everyone has the same exact idea of what cool is. The cool goth kid isn't going to think that the completely original hipster is cool and vice versa. However, everyone that truly is cool share a lot of the same qualities (for a recap, refer to yesterdays post).

So after maybe 24 hours of contemplation, meditation, and mental masturbation, I couldn't think of one person that was the embodiment of cool. I thought of three:

(Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr & Frank Sinatra)

Even in death, these three men are cooler than anyone that has tried to follow in their footsteps. They did what they wanted, when they wanted. They said whatever was on their mind and didn't care what anyone else thought about it. They cared only about making life fun and anyone who wanted to come along for the ride was welcome. And anyone was everyone. They were and still are the coolest three people of all time and the complete and utter embodiment of the word Cool.

I acknowledge that there will probably be people that disagree with me, those people are wrong. However, arguments or Nominations of people that are almost as cool are welcome.

Cool = Normal

Cool is a word that has pretty much lost all of its meaning over the past 10-20 years. It has become a word to describe any and everything, when the whole point or meaning behind the word is to describe a select few. Of course I believe that everyone is cool in their own respects, but to be truly "cool" you have to be different. You have to stand out from the crowd. Stand above the crowd with that special 'it' quality. The way the word is being thrown around nowadays, saying someone or something is cool is just like saying something is normal or ok.

The dictionary definition of "Cool" is as follows:

"Very attractive, fashionable, interesting etc in a way that people admire - used in order to show approval"

Is this definition accurate? I believe it is accurate to describe the way we use the word today. However, I believe that it inaccurately defines the true meaning behind the word. Like I said before, everyone will think that their friends are cool, that they themselves are cool and that maybe the people they see on TV are cool. Well, I think everyone is crazy.

Are you cool because you wear $200 jeans or have the latest hip shoes? Are you cool because you are wearing what is hot right now and sit at the 'cool' table at school? Chances are that if you are wearing what's "hot" right now, you are wearing it because you saw other people wearing it. Chances are that if you are sitting at the cool table in your school's cafeteria it's because of association or politics more than anything. Chances are that none of the people sitting at the so-called 'cool' table are, in fact, cool. Chances are that whether you know it or not, you are a follower. You may think you are original, but face it... Get over it... You're not.

To truly be cool, in the true sense of the word, you have to stop giving a fuck. Period. Stop caring what anyone else thinks about you. Stop caring what is in fashion. Stop caring about who thinks your cool and start caring about yourself and those that you care about. Dress how you want to dress, act how you want to act, talk how you want to talk, be with who you want to be with and do what you want to do. Then, if you are actually cool, people will follow you. People will want to hang out with you and people will want to dress like you. Still, you won't give a fuck, because you're a cool motherfucker.

This goes for any style, any group of people and any situation. From Goth kids to meterosexuals and from skaters to preppies; If you just be yourself and move to the beat of your own drum, you'll be fine.

(Tomorrow... The Epitome of Cool)

Words To Live By

To whom it may concern,

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

- Christopher Robin (Winnie The Pooh)

Waking Up

When waking up, the world is a blur...

What was clear in a dream, no longer makes sense.

From ideas and actions, to ambitions and goals...

What seemed so right, is now a tangled maze of fog and forest.

Ever so slowly, your eyes adjust.

The haze begins to clear and new paths present themselves.

What path you choose is up to you.

When at once you seemed lost and alone,

Now you are found.