Same Old Song

This is really getting old, even for me, but I'm just posting something to post something. I have tons to say, but no time to write it up. I'm heading out quickly and tomorrow's looking like a gongshow already, so I don't know when I'll be able to get something up here. I'm going to make a concerned effort to try and write something up, but I have to talk to someone first. A couple things have been bubbling to the surface for a while and a phone call this evening pushed me over the edge. We'll see how it goes, but I'm not going to post anything before it's settled.

Off to the Titty Bar.

Think

I haven't really been home in the past few days and I apologize for the lack of posting, but this isn't going to be any different. I'm on my way out the door at the moment and just figured I should get something up to please the masses. So, I leave you these words to ponder:

"Food for thought is better than a meal."

I'll do my best to get something real up on here later, but for now... I'm out.

December Is For Cynics

1:25 am. Just got home.

Christmas Eve Eve. This has probably been the most relaxed, uneventful and seemingly unimportant holiday season of my life. I have watched hockey games, been out for candle light dinners, for birthdays and to bars and apartments with friends. In everything I've done though, nothing has been centered around Christmas or the holidays. It has been like every other week of every other month this year. Not that I'm complaining, I am a man who fears change, but I'm sitting here and wondering how the hell Christmas just came out of nowhere. Besides finishing my shopping a couple weeks ago, I haven't thought about it once.

Well starting at about 2 tomorrow that's really all I'm going to be thinking about for the next two days. I have two (maybe 3) family get together's to go to, which insure that I'm going to be drunk off my stool for the next few days. I'm writing this as a warning, because:

1) I will probably not post anything for a couple days

2) I may forget to call and wish some of you a Merry Christmas (so this goes out to you)

3) I may just call you while drunk and we all know how well that works.

So Merry Christmas to everyone I don't care about enough to email or call. Here are some links to hold you over until the next post...

• The annoying burger king Christmas song

• Why I love living in Canada

• Calvin and Hobbes Christmas Cartoon

• The Perry Bible Fellowship (some seriously funny cartoons to be found)
  

• masturbation For Peace (The ten days of wanking started yesterday)

• The Insta Emo Kit (more like a guide)
  

In The Shadow Of Last Night

I am Jack's raging discontent.

Longing for something better.

I really don't know how to describe last night. I wish I could record my inner monologue, the conversations I was having in my head while not sleeping were priceless.

At 4 am the light from the street/moon create approximately 77 shadow lines across the ceiling.

It's funny really, I could probably think up a cure for world hunger or uncover the absolute truth behind the meaning of life. However, if I'm not in front of a computer when I think of it, all is lost. Seriously, I come up with the best ideas known to man when laying in bed at night, but then forget them in the morning. Bed time genius.

I digress.

Back to last night. I guess last night could almost be likened to a family trip. Two siblings having to share a hotel bed, with the invisible line down the center. Not wanting to cross the line, not wanting to touch. Laying on opposite sides of the bed, not facing each other. Trying to get comfortable in your invisible prison. Rolling over, facing each other, too close, roll back. What's that? Oh no, legs touched. Roll over. Act like nothing happened. Nothing happened.

Yawn. 20 minutes sleep in 40 hours is tiring.

I want to say more about how I felt. How even though we aren't siblings, it was awkward. How even though we had a history, it was awkward. Maybe, the history is what made it awkward. You're not comfortable talking about a lot of things, I know this. Yet, for however long we've been hanging out, I think the vaults have been pretty much open. More so than with a lot of people. At dinner we talked about how annoying the "what are you thinking?" questions are. That's not what I want to get at, I hate that shit. I want to know what the hell happened though. What are you feeling? What changed?

I don't know if you read this. It doesn't matter I guess. Vents Closed.

(If this seems disjointed, I don't give a shit. I wrote it on the fly. Blogging freestyle. I might edit it or clean it up later. )

Top 10 Albums Of 2005 (Updated)

This has been a funny year, a long year, but a good one. It's not yet over, but I'm pretty sure that I can sit here and make a solid judgment on the top 10 albums of 2005. Solid because I know what I'm talking about. Besides number one, this list is in no particular order:

1.Sufjan Stevens - Illinois: Quite simply the best album of the year. The second record in Stevens attempt to create an album for all 50 American States, paints an often whimsical portrait of the history, the landmarks and the people. From songs about love to sympathetic looks at the mind of a serial killer ("John Wayne Gacy, Jr), Stevens never disappoints. BUY THIS.

2. Death Cab For Cutie - Plans: The second the "OC" generation adopted Deathcab as their new favorite band, I wanted to dislike this album. I wanted to hate this album. Front to back this is a great album though. As their major label debut, it's polished a little more so than previous releases, but all the shine and gloss simply accentuate the near perfect pop/rock cuts.

3. Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm A Machine: Guitar Driven. With strong bass and drums, it flows like a cooler QOTSA. One of many Canadian rock bands that came out of nowhere this year.

4. The Decemberists - Picaresque: Strong story telling carries this record with an almost 17th century traveling gypsy feel. One or two minor disappointments don't take away from the strength of the rest of the album.

5. Sigur Ros - Takk: Perfect soundtrack to life. Put it on and go about your day.

6. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning: Probably the second best written album on the list behind Illinois. Sometimes amazing song writing coupled with smooth and mellow arrangements. Front to back a great record.

7. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm: They were "it." They were "the next big thing" and then they were over. Too over hyped and too overplayed. None of that takes away from the fact that they were "it" and overplayed for a reason. They don't disappoint.

8. Architecture In Helsinki - In Case We Die: Who are they? What do they sound like? I don't know. They switch between styles and melodies so often that it's almost dizzying. What I do know is that the album kicks ass. Just don't think too much or your brain might explode.

9. Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary: Some say they sound like Modest Mouse. I don't like modest mouse, so I'm going to say they sound better.

10. The Mars Volta - Frances The Mute: Take what I loved about 'At The Drive In' and then mix that with what may be some of the most experimental song writing of the past decade and you get an amazing album with few disappointments.

Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock...

Time has just been flying by lately. I feel as though every time I blink another day is in the rear view mirror. Lost. Listening to a song about Sodom, South Georgia, warming myself up with a cup of mint tea. Waiting. Just waiting for the time to fly by and the evening to come. It's dark now, but it's not yet night, so I'm going to be here for another few hours without anything to do but sit, write and listen.

In the blur since my last meaningful post I've hardly had this time to just sit, write and listen. Being pulled from all sides, going here, there and everywhere in between. From restaurants in Yale Town to bars on Hastings and from malls surrounded by busy shoppers to a house surrounded by drug addicts. It's been ridiculous, tiring and above all, informative. I've learnt a lot about people.

I guess one thing you could say is, people like to talk. Another thing you could say is, people like to talk about people behind their backs. More specifically, you could say that some people like to talk about me, behind my back. I'm flattered.

What do you do when you've learnt things you might not want to learn? You've seen something you don't want to see? Feel something you don't want to feel? Myself, well I've had a very successful time of bottling things up and for the most part keeping my mouth shut. I have a strict policy of avoiding other peoples drama. The policy is like a strip club, no touching. Except of course if they say it's okay, then you go to town.

So what was said? Well, apparently I'm a "Man-whore" (see, Slut). Writing that sentence makes me feel like I'm in high school all over again. Now normally, like I said before, I'd just laugh it off and go about my day without giving it a second thought. No need to get involved in the drama. Why does this bother me then? Circumstances, it's all about circumstances. I've been told by three people now that they were told this by a person, and it was all said in an attempt to keep them from getting involved with me. One of whom knows how I feel. Well at least she used to.

I guess, I just feel compelled to defend myself. The accusation is completely baseless and directly attacks my character. When I'm with someone I'm WITH that person. No tricks, no games. I'm up front and completely honest. As Tony Montana said, "All I have in this world are my balls and my word." In this case, that's true both literally and figuratively.

Yawn

What am I doing?

Seriously, it's almost three in the morning and I'm running on 3 hours sleep. I should be in bed. I'm exhausted, but I have this weird urge that I should be here. For some reason or another I'm just compelled to sit in front of the computer and write something. Anything.

That takes care of that.

Sooner Than Soon

I deserve a medal or maybe just a parade in my honor. I mean, honestly, I am too damn amazing. Today, for the first time in the history of human existence, someone finished their Christmas shopping before December 24th. That someone was me. Now I understand that some people might believe that they have "finished" their Christmas shopping early or at least earlier than me, but that's like claiming you cured cancer or turned a lesbian. It didn't happen and you know it. Let it go.

I guess I feel I deserve a break now, so I'm going to do what I do when I don't want to do any work. Post completely useless information, pictures and links.

• Ever feel like you should be Time Magazine's Person of the Year? Yeah, me too. Damn bureaucrats. Well, now you get your chance to have your face 6 stories high on an electronic billboard in Times Square, on the cover of Time Magazine. Go here to upload a photo and for a quick example, I posted up a picture of a friend. Here's the picture.

• Yes, that picture really was on a billboard in Times Square. No, I don't expect to live long.
  

• Religious? Don't click this link. Passion of the Christ meets Benny Hill. I guess those sensitive to violence, even violence accompanied by funny music and sound effects shouldn't click the link either.
  

• Mooing, banging, intercourse and the handicapped...

That's it for now, if I find some time in the next day or two I'll try and write something up that goes beyond link dumping and literary masturbation. Keep on rocking in a free world.

Each Coming Night

I'm beyond bored right now, stuck waiting for a ride that should have been here a while ago. To kill some time, I just figured I'd post something up on here. I'm facing one small problem though, I don't want to write anything. I don't want to write anything at all. So to accomplish my goal without doing any work, I figured I'd post a few small pictures.

Last nights sunset, as seen from the comfort of my bedroom.

Out Of The Darkness

12:30 am

I'm sitting down at the computer, content with my day. With everything. It was a good day. I'm sitting here in the dark, only the glow of the monitor and humming of the computer keeping me company. Soothing.

I feel better about a lot of things. It was only one day, but it seemed almost as if it were a week. I feel better about a situation with someone I care about, someone I hurt a couple weeks ago. I wrote an apology before and I wrote it for the wrong reasons. Not because I didn't mean it, but because I didn't understand the situation. To hurt someone that has been pretty close to me for the past 6 or 7 months bothered me a lot. I hate to see my friends upset, but as I said tonight, it was "one of the few people I never want to hurt or make angry. Ever." I don't usually apologize or feel bad about situations that I may have been in the wrong, but since it happened I've felt like shit. Tonight, over tea and coffee, we talked it out. Talked it out as best we could. I don't think the situation is completely resolved and there are still going to be some after effects lingering for a little while, but I feel better about it. I just hope that if there is anything left to make up, I can.

I don't know what else to say. What more can I say?

Until Tomorrow.

BEST. VIDEO. EVER.

I don't know what I like about this more, the brilliant porno mustaches, the mullets, the muscle shirts, the flannel, Mike Ditka rapping or just the whole song. Anyway you look at it though, this is quite possibly the greatest piece of unintentional comedy in history.

The Grabowski's

Back To The Future

Well the little vacation is over. It was fun getting away for the weekend and not having to worry about school or anything else, but now it's back to the warmth and comfort of my text books. Chomsky and Highway replace Stella and Jack. Posting may be sparse until Friday, but I'm sure that I will find time to procrastinate and get on here. However, at the moment I am content with the idea of studying. Maybe later tonight.

Our Endless Numbered Days

365 Days.

118 Posts.

It has officially been one year since I started this blog. One year since this abomination of self love, glorification, pity and excess began. I feel like I should say something really deep and meaningful, well more meaningful than usual, but I'm sitting here ready to end this post right now. I mean, who gives a shit? Right?

I went back and read my very first post and the subsequent posts from my first month of "blogging" and I have to admit that a lot of it made me wince. Grammatically, I couldn't write my way out of a wet paper bag. I had the same brash bravado, but my writing was being held back by my refusal to spell correctly, proof-read or really care what I was writing about. Now, I don't really proof-read, but I found the spell check button and at least think of what I'm going to write about a little before I sit down. I know not too many people read this thing, but there are some people that for one reason or another keep coming back. I'll try to keep it interesting.

(In about 3 hours, I'm gone for the weekend. Try my cell if you really need to get a hold of me, or just can't live without me. I'll be back Sunday.)

Around My Way

I couldn't be bothered in the least to write up a normal and cohesive post today, so I'm going to half ass it.

• Brandon + Alborz + Myself = Trouble. Seriously, you can not take us anywhere. Last night we had a couple drinks while watching the Canucks game downtown and then, afterwards, went out in search of food. At the restaurant we were loud, we were THOSE people. The people who from the very second they walk in the door, you just know are going to be a disruption. We weren't as worked up as we can get, but our talks of politics, sex and sports could be heard from every corner of the restaurant.

• Speaking of politics, I'm not sure that the upcoming election is the best thing for Canada. Seriously, we are just going to end up with another minority government and if the Conservative Party (Stephen Harper) wins, we are going to be in more shit than we are now. Not to mention that we will most likely just have another minority government and the threat of another election looming over our heads.

• Note to self: Lawnmowers do not, I repeat, do not make good get away vehicles.

• Girls are sneaky. "I knew it wasn't me!... Wait... Did I want to know that?!"

• Quite possibly the greatest invention of our time.

• 1 (310) 717-1919 = Tom Green's actual cell phone number. Yes, that Tom Green. He apparently wants people to call him and posted this up on the net last week, so if your into that sort of thing give him a shout.

I'm getting the hell out of this place. Tomorrow, I'm off to Bowen Island for a weekend of drinking and debauchery. I don't know exactly when I'm leaving and still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to come back Saturday or Sunday (most likely Sunday), but I'll try to get something up before I go.