Thursday, November 30, 2006

Random Email

From Vietnam:

believe it or not, I think I am more jealous of you're situation, because I CANNOT get macaroni and cheese over here to save my life, and macaroni IS my life!! The best I can find is like a cheap substitute, nothing at all like Presidents Choice White Cheddar.

Also, I'm in a shitty little town waiting for a bus to take me to Hue, where the beaches and beer apparently are. Right now though, I'm wasting time in an internet cafe (I have 4 hours to go) surrounded by vietnamese children playing some form of dance dance revolution on the computer, but they're all hooked up so they can dance together!

Remember that time in winnipeg when those bastard cops took our vodka and probably took it home for themselves??? yeah, those guys were dicks. good times....


Wednesday, November 29, 2006

We Are Restless Things.

I've been playing ice hockey like crazy lately. I have to say that I'm kind of the shit. Honestly, I'm pretty much the greatest ever.

I've also been writing, saving and planning like crazy.

I've also been like crazying like crazy.

I went to Whistler last week, on my last day off, to surprise a friend. I drove up by myself in the morning and drove down that evening. It was a good lunch and dinner. A good day.

I just realize I wake up and leave town without telling anyone quite a bit.

I am going to go to bed before 1 am for the first time in weeks tonight.

Let's make that 2 am.

Currently Listening To: Neko Case - Star Witness

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Lies Are Much More Fun

I started my Christmas shopping almost two months ago. It was a warm October afternoon and I was wondering the streets of Seattle, alone. Surrounded by Americans and strangers.

I started shopping that day because I felt like a jerk. That's pretty much it. I felt upset about the night before and bought a present for a friend. I was going to give it to her a while ago, but it's turning into a Christmas present due to circumstances beyond my control.

I finished my Christmas shopping this afternoon. A cold November afternoon. Surrounded by Canadians and friends.

Currently Listening To: The Grates - Trampoline

The Strangest Twist Upon Your Lips

I can't sit here and say I've been the best guy ever. I mean, I do, but I can't.

I've been with more women than is healthy or reasonable and have, in the end, very little to show for it. Most were far too beautiful, smart, funny, fun, spontaneous or loving for me.

I was far too distant, emotionally unavailable or cheating for them.

I was me.

Now, I have a girl who is probably the smartest, funnest and most caring of any of them. I'm not going to say I'm trying to change for her, but I am trying to be less me.

I don't know what to do.

Currently Listening To: Clipse - Trill

So, Fire Away

Tomorrow is the only day I have off, that I know about, in the next ten days. I don't know what it is or why it's happening, but I've been driven to work like crazy and I plan on milking it like crazy until I'm out of this place.

If you want some quality time with Geoff, call me or email me. I know there will be time during those ten days that I"m going to have free, but tomorrow is the only day I am devoting to making those around me happy. The rest is devoted to masturbation


Currently Listening To: Swan Lake - Blue Bird

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I Will Wake Up From This Dream

It seems as if I've been writing about mornings a lot lately. In hindsight I think it has to do with the lack of sleeping that I've been experiencing once again. It is a recurring theme in my life and one I'm sure won't really change in the future.

Well, yesterday morning I woke up to a phone call from an old friend and spent the day reminiscing about summers past over tea in a sparsely crowded coffee shop off of Denman.

Today I woke up and I had a girlfriend.

It has definitely been a weird week.

Currently Listening To: Sally Shapiro - I Know

Thursday, November 23, 2006

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today

I was drunk and had a beard.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I Don't Know You

Tomorrow I have my first day off in what feels like forever. The thought of sitting and doing nothing or getting out and doing everything is leaving me at a complete loss. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I mean, with the exception of my lunch plans, I have nothing to do in a day for the first time in as long as I can remember and because I've been slowly pulling out of my social circle, I don't know if I have anyone to do it with.

Come to think of it I know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm going to find a coffee shop on a crowded street corner and just sit there drinking a tea and watching the millions of people inhabiting this city walk by.

Want to sit and make fun of them all with me?

Call me. I'm sure I'll be free.

Currently Listening To: Final Fantasy - If I Were A Carp

Monday, November 20, 2006

Run Into Flowers

For some reason I rolled out of bed at 9 am today. I still don't know why. I opened my eyes and let them slowly adjust to the rain that was trickling down the windows in front of me.

I spent the day busily doing nothing. Constantly moving and working, but accomplishing nothing that will be of any value in two days. Two years.

I had a great, and unexpected, conversation with a friend that lives in Los Angeles last night. I finished the conversation late and then couldn't sleep. He commented that I was really a part of his family and then I started thinking about mine. My sister. The police officer that was sitting at my dining room table when I woke up yesterday.

It was raining. Everything Is Great.

Currently Listening To: Prototypes - Je Ne Te Connais Pas

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

It's Not For A Fuck, Or A Kiss

110 hours on my last paycheck.

At least 90 on the up coming paycheck.

To say that I have been busy as of late is an understatement. I have been working my ass off, I have been asked to help run Steve's 150'000 friend myspace page (even though I know jack shit about the internet/myspace) and I have been planning the getaway of all getaways.

I look in the mirror every morning and see a different guy. I've been trying to lay low and stay out of the social circle. I have avoided a couple of friends concerts and shows. I missed a friends movie premiere and another friends fashion show.

I still miss that one friend.

Currently Listening To: Joanna Newsom - Monkey & Bear

Why do all posts end the same way?

Quote Of The Day

"I think a positive mental attitude, um, keeps STD's dormant... I hope."

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Everywhere And Everyway

A year ago today I was sitting in this exact same chair and in this exact same room, staring out into a cold and dark Vancouver night thinking about a friend whom I lost touch with. Today, I am sitting here staring out into a cold Vancouver night feeling a lot of the same feelings I was feeling that night.

I have the taste of coffee in my mouth. Sadly, it is Bailey's free.

The Canucks haven't won.

I miss a friend. I long for the comfort of knowing that she is there and that I can talk to her.

Here I thought I could just turn it off.

I have to admit that I have been somewhat lost recently. It is as if that in all the working, not sleeping and trying to get my ducks in a row, I completely forgot who and what my ducks were.

Currently Listening To: I'm From Barcelona - We're From Barcelona

Sunday, November 05, 2006

You Can't Trust Your Dreams

I've started to write this post about nine times now. It's already getting old and starting to piss me off. I should probably leave it in the middle of the night and not call it tomorrow. You know, the sort of thing my wonderful reputation entails.

My personal situation is funny right now. I don't know how it happens, but I always end up surrounded by the most beautiful, caring and nice girls imaginable. It's weird. I've been with more girls than I should have ever been allowed to. I've certainly been with girls that are way too beautiful for me.

At least I'm honost.

To continue the theme of honosty, I miss my friend.

Currently Listening To: Modest Mouse - Heart Cooks Brain

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Are We Breathing, Are We Wasting Our Breath

I don't know about you, but I am tired.

Sick and tired.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am also sick and tired of being portrayed as this asshole and this douchebag that I'm told I am being from time to time.

When I sit down and look at the situations that have gotten me to where I am today, I look at them with open and honest eyes. I know where I am, how I got here and what it is I need to do to change. The ultimate question is, can I?

I don't know. I mean, the problem is pretty deep rooted. I have talked about it here and with people close to me at great lengths. The end all of it is that I have the complete inability to open up to anyone. I try, but I can't. The thing about it is that I have always been somewhat okay with it. I dealt with problems by myself and on my own time. It worked great for me and that is all that mattered. To me.

The result of my "dealing" is that I have always ended coming off as this asshole or this douchebag who ignores people or dissapears and in doing so, I push those close to me away. I push away those I care about. I pushed away that girlfriend. I pushed away that friend.

I'm in a good place now and trying to mend a couple fences that I was unaware I broke. I have my shit together as much as I think most people can have their shit together. I am also going to lift up this huge rock that has been sitting on my shoulders and then crawl under it. That is to say that besides at work, most people really won't be seeing much of me.

Someone once wrote that 'you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with.' Recently, due to dealing, I have been replacing someone I care deeply about with people that are all fun and no substance. I'm sorry. I'm just going to take some time off and hopefully surround myself with people of substance.

I need to sit down, relax and just breathe.

I need to enjoy the peace and quite.

I need to stop rambling.

That is what I am doing.

I'm gone.

Currently Listening To: Tokyo Police Club - Citizens of Tomorrow

Magnum P.I. Meets Borat

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Reality Check

I know it says it in the tag line, but I want to stress this again: I'm probably making this up.

Even that.

Every post is filled with lies, exaggeration and fiction. Period. I write to write and sometimes just take the most extreme thought that pops into my head and throw it down onto this thing. Don't feel like everything I say in here is true.


I'm more than tired of people asking me about things I write on here and if I'm okay. If there is any truth to this thing and that thing. I am splendid.

Remember that.