Sunday, January 29, 2006

Losing My Reflection In Bottles Of Wine

1:45 am. I've been sitting here wide awake, bored and pondering the possible reasons why someone has yet to suicide bomb a Coldplay concert. Reasons = Zero. Honestly, why bomb bus stations and fruit stands when you could do the world an even bigger favor by liberating people with horrible taste in music and end the suffering of the billions of people who have to put up with "Coldplay Fans," all in one shot. Just in the push of a button and three easy payments of $29.99. If you act now, we'll even throw in 78 virgins for you with no extra charge. Operators are standing by.

Well, to take my mind off of said frustrations and write about something that has nothing to do with what I've already written, the following are single sentences about myself and what I'm thinking right now.

  • I swear as bad as a sailor, every god damn day.
  • I'm a far better person when I drink.
  • I'm a far worse person when I drink.
  • I never think I look better than when I'm drunk and catch my own reflection in a mirror at a bar or party.
  • I spent today recovering from a hangover and preparing for years of mental/emotional scaring that will inevitably be brought on by the events of last night.
  • When I start playing hockey again in April, I'm going to start a fight in my first game.
  • Surprisingly, I am the least violent person that I know.
  • I have over 100 numbers in my cell phone, yet I only really call about 7 or 8 of them with any regularity.
  • I only deeply care about, maybe, 4 of them.
  • I've never been one for crushes or infatuation, but this is seriously going on about 8 months or so and starting to piss me off.
  • The Pixies song "Hey" has been my favorite song for the past 2 years.
  • I think if I could be any one in the world except for myself, it would be a toss up between Tom Selleck and Val Kilmer.
  • The fact that people vote without knowing anything about what or whom they are voting for scares the shit out of me.
  • The next two weekends will find me in Seattle, Portland and Pemberton.
  • This is the sound of settling.
  • This is me going to bed.

Friday, January 27, 2006

The Hoff

David Hasselhoff is kind of an enigma. Part man, part myth and all legend. Many people in North America joke around and make fun of 'The Hoff' for just Hoffing to damn hard. Yet still, through it all, he has risen to god-like status in many European countries. How has this happened? Why? Well every single reason can be found in this wonderful, piece of pop culture history. Art at its finest.

Watch. Learn. Love.

Monday, January 23, 2006

With Blood On My Blog

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm amazing. So amazing in fact that I don't feel the least bit bad about leaving the most depressing post I've ever written at the top of the page for the entire weekend. That's just what I do sometimes. I'm too busy solving the old people problem plaguing our fair city to think about such petty things. Don't worry, they are all back in their cages. No need to thank me.

Anyways, I'm bored and even more importantly tired so I'm going to just dump some random links up here:

  • Jack Bauer Facts (note: Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because Chuck Norris is a pussy)
  • I know someone who would want this
  • The Bunny Suicides: 1, 2, 3, 4

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Lay In The Reins

5:45 am.


A single scream.

I hopped out of bed to the sounds of metal meeting metal. I was up, staring down at a black truck and little white car entangled in the early morning fog. A man steps down from a truck, holding his head and reaching into his pocket. Nobody steps out of the little white car.

I heard someone die yesterday morning.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Right Here, Right Now

8:55 pm

It's dark and it's raining.

Outside there is a homeless man, struggling to push all of his worldly possessions down the street. In what looks like a blazer he might of bought in a different life, he struggles to keep the cart steady. Dripping wet. Cars racing through an intersection, lights changing color in a Casino window and the sound of horns and sirens off in the distance. A flashing red hand is waving from the street corner below.

I'm quite content right now. Peppermint tea is drowning out the taste of Chinese food. Ryan Adams is drowning out the sounds coming from a TV in the next room. The sounds of a Prime Minister losing my vote. If you called me today and I didn't pick up, I was ignoring you. I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Not in the slightest. I don't know what or who it was, but I was just perfectly fine keeping to myself today. I've been out, about, around, up, down and in the middle so much lately that taking a day for myself made me happy.

Until Tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Geoff Is Unconcerned With The World.

Geoff is concerned with sleeping. I have had a crazy few nights over the past week and seriously need to catch up on being unconscious. I haven't had a good coma in a while and it's killing me. Now, I would post a blog that ment something, but I could care less about it. I will try to get something up in the next day or two, but we'll see how that goes.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


Everyone is talking about New Years resolutions. Asking questions, making statements, Blah Blah Blah.

My New Years resolution? Stop making New Years resolutions.

Seriously, I can't say I've heard of more than a handful of people who actually end up going through with their resolutions. Well, only a handful of people who end up being successful with their resolutions. Why? People sit there and make statements about changing their lives, but almost always aren't ready for that change. They sit there and say, "well, I guess I have to make a New Years resolution... Maybe I'll quit smoking. Maybe I'll start exercising. Maybe I'll stop killing infants." Why do people feel that they have to do these things? They are forcing themselves into these changes and I don't know about you, but forcing me to do something just makes it that much harder. Just ask the babies in my basement.

The only way to actually be successful in these situations is to be sure you WANT to do it in the first place. If someone isn't mentally ready to do something, all forcing them accomplishes is failure. That's why I'm not making a New Years resolution. It's not that there aren't things about myself I want to change or things in my life I want to improve on. There are, trust me. I just know that the only way to accomplish these things is to be mentally prepared for the challenges that will inevitably come with the change.

Too bad for the babies.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Year In Pictures (Part 4)

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4 Girls I love

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Best. Billboard. Ever. (Times Square)

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Poker in the rear

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The Boys

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The proposal

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The Keller

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We are but shadows

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'Nucks Game

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It's 3:30 am and - 8 degrees

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Happy Birthday

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Borzy's B-Day

If you're in a picture or just want a proper copy (one that hasn't been cut and sized to fit this page) than just email me or leave a comment here and I'll get it to you. Remember, you don't need a blog to comment.

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Year In Pictures (Part 3)

About two or three months ago I got bored and decided to post a compilation of my favorite pictures of the year, up to that point. It was a good way of wasting time and creating a post. Now, here I sit in a similar mood and 2005 is officially over, so I'm going to follow the previous format. This is The (rest of the) Year In Pictures.

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1/3 of the "coolest motherfuckers on the planet"

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..and people were surprised J.David left town

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The man, Danny Mac

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Phil Phil

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Gurney and G.G.G.G.Geoff

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Union made

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Steve and...

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(The fourth, and final, chapter will be posted tomorrow)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year

... and that's just what it was. For the most part.

If you've spoken with me at any time in the past week, chances are we talked about what we were doing for New Year's eve. Chances are that when we spoke about our plans, I expressed my concern with what I was going to be doing. Chances are I used the word "suckered" and "bail" once or twice in the conversation as well. With all that in the past, I think my low expectations served me well. I had a great time. It was something different, something I most likely will never do again and I'm probably better off for having done it.

From watching Canada beat the US with the guys, to sitting over dinner and drinks on Granville Island at 1 am, it was just a warm experience. I spent New Years with the people I wanted to spend New Years with. Besides one minor issue caused by drinks, emotions and over thinking, it was the smoothest New Years celebration I have ever been apart of. I don't think I would have changed a thing.

... Well... Maybe one thing.