Sunday, January 29, 2006

Losing My Reflection In Bottles Of Wine

1:45 am. I've been sitting here wide awake, bored and pondering the possible reasons why someone has yet to suicide bomb a Coldplay concert. Reasons = Zero. Honestly, why bomb bus stations and fruit stands when you could do the world an even bigger favor by liberating people with horrible taste in music and end the suffering of the billions of people who have to put up with "Coldplay Fans," all in one shot. Just in the push of a button and three easy payments of $29.99. If you act now, we'll even throw in 78 virgins for you with no extra charge. Operators are standing by.

Well, to take my mind off of said frustrations and write about something that has nothing to do with what I've already written, the following are single sentences about myself and what I'm thinking right now.

  • I swear as bad as a sailor, every god damn day.
  • I'm a far better person when I drink.
  • I'm a far worse person when I drink.
  • I never think I look better than when I'm drunk and catch my own reflection in a mirror at a bar or party.
  • I spent today recovering from a hangover and preparing for years of mental/emotional scaring that will inevitably be brought on by the events of last night.
  • When I start playing hockey again in April, I'm going to start a fight in my first game.
  • Surprisingly, I am the least violent person that I know.
  • I have over 100 numbers in my cell phone, yet I only really call about 7 or 8 of them with any regularity.
  • I only deeply care about, maybe, 4 of them.
  • I've never been one for crushes or infatuation, but this is seriously going on about 8 months or so and starting to piss me off.
  • The Pixies song "Hey" has been my favorite song for the past 2 years.
  • I think if I could be any one in the world except for myself, it would be a toss up between Tom Selleck and Val Kilmer.
  • The fact that people vote without knowing anything about what or whom they are voting for scares the shit out of me.
  • The next two weekends will find me in Seattle, Portland and Pemberton.
  • This is the sound of settling.
  • This is me going to bed.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Tina said...

Hey G,
I love your utter hatred for Coldplay. It's great.

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and one really difficult payment...

9:52 PM  
Blogger Geoff said...

My hatred of Coldplay runs almost as deep as my hatred of Pierre McGuire... and thats a lot.

To anonymous, I was going to add that quote but figured I kiss Dane Cooks ass enough already. Man, woman or child though, I think i love you. Don't be a pussy though and leave your name, I hate anonymous comments.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Geoff said...

I just remembered, it was Mitch Hedberg not Dane Cook. Although, Dane Cook is a silly bitch

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What link were you talking about on Jen Good's blog? She removed it, but I'm curious to know what it was!

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go to gorillamask.net and it's on the first page.

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ohh snap!

9:41 PM  

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