Thursday, March 30, 2006

Useless (Edited/Updated)

It's 12:27 am and I've been up since 6:30 am. I have to get up at about the same time tomorrow and I'm already exhausted. Hopefully the combination of Advil and peppermint tea will put me to sleep.

The past two days have defied comprehension. From the sexy sun burn I'm currently sporting and the staff party to end all staff parties on Monday, down to watching the game with the guys tonight and the amazing dinner I had earlier in the evening. I've been amazing. Still, my mind has been elsewhere or I guess I should say on someone else. This shit blows and still scares the crap out of me. I mean, in the process of "taking it slow" I've really tried to pull myself and my feelings out of the situation. It's not working and scaring me even more. Maybe I should get back to what makes me, in fact, me. Maybe I should take it out on the unborn children of the world. It's not like they didn't have it coming anyway.

(EDIT: Upon re-reading the post right now, it seriously rubbed me the wrong way. When I say I'm trying "to pull myself and my emotions out of the situation," I don't in any way mean that I don't want this. That I don't want to be in the situation. I'm simply in a situation that I've never been in before and my finger was reaching for the eject button because I don't know how to deal with it and I'm trying to prevent myself from getting hurt. Sometimes when you're a super being such as myself, the occasional turn to or glimpse of normality can be frightening.)

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Alone We Stand, Together We Fall Apart

Here's the thing ladies and gentlemen, I know I'm great and I love myself for it. I can't help myself and sometimes it drive me nuts. I think that even if I cheated on myself, I'd be a bitch and take me back. Of course, I'd have to take myself out to dinner and hold my hand, but you know I'd just end up on my back by the end of the night.

My point? I really don't have one, I just started writing and that's what came out. Since Wednesday my life has been a blur of strange events, people and places. The days have melted together to the point that they are almost unable to be separated. What did I do? I don't think I could begin to tell you about it, so I'm going to just post some short and very random bits of information, coupled with some link dumping.

  • Saturday morning I woke up in my car with no idea of how I got there or where I was, I had a pink "Kansas City BBQ" wrist band/pass on my wrist with no idea of how it got there or what it was for and I had $100 in my pocket that wasn't there when I started the night. The only thing I know for sure is that my phone says I spoke with Leah around 4 in the morning. Sorry about that.
  • On the topic of phones, I've had a love hate relationship with mine for years. I mean, I love the little guy and for the most part he's one of my favorite companions. However, when I'm drunk he turns into a messenger of death and a bitter enemy. Smugly trafficking horrible text messages or playing middle man to the inevitable "drunk dials" at the worst possible times. Why randomly dialing people at 3 am feels like a good idea when under the influence is a mystery that will probably plague mankind for eternity.
  • "You re an asshole. You should stop drinking." - Instant inductee into the text message hall of fame.
  • I'm not going to call tonight, maybe tomorrow, but if you want to talk or hang out, call me or email me. I'm beyond confused as to what the fuck happened and disappointed that my weekend didn't include you in it.
  • New "Bunny Suicides" - 5 and 6
  • Favorite song at the moment: Ryan Adams - If I am a Stranger.
  • Favorite Album at the moment: Pixies - Doolittle.
  • Possibly going to the Metric concert on the weekend. I'm Psyched.
  • The Epiphany post is 90% done, I've just gotten to the point that so much time has passed since it was relevant that I could care less about finishing it. It will be up eventually.
  • Work Schedule is the same, as per usual: 8 - 3 or 4, Mon-Fri.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Hold Your Fucking Horses: Part 2

Yesterday, I wrote briefly and mysteriously about an epiphany I had, the epiphany which did not involve midgets. I wrote that I would ultimately explain the aforementioned epiphany in a post by today. Let's be honost, that's not going to happen. Don't get your panties in a bunch, I've started writing it, but I just so happened to find something better to do tonight. Or you could say "someone" better to do tonight... Oh shit I'm good... Errr... Anyways, time is short, so I won't beat around the bush. I really just want to go masturbate, put on my Coldplay CD and cry myself to sleep.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Strange Days

Look and listen. I'm going to be quite honest and Frank in my recap of this past weekend. Wait, I'm going to be quite honest and Geoff in my recap of this past weekend, while most other names will be removed or changed to make them only slightly less obvious to those involved.

  • St. Patty's day was, for the most part, spectacular in it's ability to remain average. After a week of tremendous build up and rising expectations, the party fell pretty flat. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. The night started off great. About 6 of the guys and myself had a BBQ and pre-drinking get together at Shaun's place before hand. Amazing food and more laughs than I could remember or would even try to. Next was the bar. On a Navy Base. Only half full. Tops. The music was all over the place and the sound system sucked. The drinks were cheap enough, but almost not worth it because of the lack of selection. However, I still found myself having a good time. I was having fun with the people I was with and that's really all that mattered. Only a little bit of drama, but I'll get to that later. After the bar it was back to Shaun's for a more subdued party that mostly consisted of music, conversation, a few drinks and consistently asking Corporal, "What the hell are you doing here?"
  • After the party, I went back to ...........'s to sleep. Last thing I remember is being kicked out of bed. I wake up in the morning, still in the bed, only I'm now alone. Weird. Alarm rings. She walks in, turns off the alarm and walks out with it. Wait. What's happening? I wait 5 minutes, gather my thoughts, get up, walk out to the kitchen and then look at the couch. Yup, she's sleeping on the couch. Ouch. Knowing I'm in shit, I throw my shoes on and walk out the door. What did I do? Can't remember.
  • To the Drama: The funniest part of the night was when a 5'5", 60 year old man with a handlebar moustache right out of a 1980's West Virginia tractor pull walked up to me and challenged me to a fight. Why? Because I was having a conversation and uttered the words "Fuck Calgary." Turns out that when you're on a Navy Base, you should know what names Canadian Naval ships have and to the extent that Naval officers will go to stand up for those ships.
  • Saturday was an even bigger mess than Friday. From the "bar" opening at 11 am and the BK Lounge at 12, we found ourselves watching a Rugby match at the Cap Rugby Club, drunken shopping, watching Rocky and having another BBQ. The full on party started at about 6ish and was good and upity until about 10 when I hit the wall. After a nap for about an hour and a half, I awoke and had a pretty meaningful conversation. I remember the topic and I remember bits and pieces of what was said, but I can't for the life of me remember what REALLY was said. I just know that it had to do with me getting kicked out of bed the night before and that's about it. I'm going to pretend that I know what was said though, because you guys know how I like to talk about that sort of stuff.
  • Most of the night went by okay and as expected. Lunch Box took his shirt off, a massage was given, a girlfriend was cheated on and Drama got angry and snored. The only real down point to the night was me walking downstairs with plans to leave and seeing something I didn't really want to see.
  • Sunday we slept in. Well, slept in until about 11 and then everybody dispersed and returned to their everyday lives. I, having the day off, went up Cypress and rode for a couple hours. It wasn't as busy as I expected and just being able to ride and get my mind off of things was what I needed.
  • Yesterday, after riding, I started thinking again. I had an epiphany. Actually, I had two, but one is something that I'm going to talk about and one has to do with midgets. The epiphany is kinda/sorta serious and explains a lot about why I've been getting into certain situations lately. I could write it out right now, but I really don't feel like it. Not to mention that looking back on how much I've written I'd be surprised if anyone read anymore of this, so I'm going to post it tomorrow.
  • Call me. Email me. Whatever.

Hold Your Fucking Horses

I'm slowly getting into writing a recap of the past three days of my life. Three days filled with more than enough highs and lows to fill a post or, oddly enough, the space in my basement where I keep the dead babies and my collection of mint condition Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. I'm sort of hoping that I'll be able to finish writing it by the time I go to bed tonight, but I'm not above disappointing any of you. I'm also not above posting embarrassing pictures of friends to pass the time, give you something so you shut up and basically make myself feel better.

Enjoy Yourself Bitches (because I know about 4 minutes after this picture was taken, he was)

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patty's Day

After a long week of getting up at 6:30 am every morning and a surprising lack of sleep along the way, I very well expect to be away all weekend drinking to help my body forget it's tired. What? You don't think it will work? Well, I'm out to prove you wrong. Since I doubt I'll be spending much time at home while partaking in my aforementioned endeavor, call me if you need to get a hold of me, but I'll check my email when I get a chance.

Anyways, I hope you all have a wonderfully drunken St. Patrick's Day. The one day when everyone's Irish. Even Black people.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Seven Swans

I'm not at home right this moment, so this is going to be shorter than usual. I'm going home in about 5 minutes, but I just felt compelled to write about this, here and now. Bare with me.

I do my best to do things that make myself and the people I love happy. In doing this, I've made about a million mistakes. I've hurt people and I've moved on without a care in a world. Now, in doing this, I've had a long standing personal rule to never regret anything. Well, no, that's a lie. I've had a long standing belief that regrets are not a bad thing. I truly believe that you've never really lived unless you have regrets. I mean, the only way that you can live life without ever regreting something is if you live in a bubble and don't take any chances.

I don't expect people to really grasp the meaning behind what I'm talking about here and fully expect questions to be asked.

I have work early, but call me. I want to talk.

Pixies - Hey

If you know me, you know how much this means to me. It may take a little while to load, so my suggestion is to pause it and let it load so you are able to watch it all the way through.

The Pixies - "Hey." Live in London, Circa 1988

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Say It Aint So

How bad has this blog taken a swing to the right and stopped being a place where I talk about what I want to talk about, when I want to talk about it, without worrying about what I'm saying because of who is reading it? Pretty fucking bad.

How do I go about correcting the situation and getting this bitch back on course? I guess like this:

  • I was watching Wedding Crashers maybe a week or two ago and got to thinking, I seriously hope that I'm just 50% full of shit. I tell the truth and all, but I know I'm full of shit. I feel like Owen Wilson, I can't really tell anymore.
  • I don't know what it is, but I'm happiest when I'm with you. I was having an absolutely amazing time at the party last night. I met a ton of pretty cool new people, I was in a Dance Off that my competitor actually forfeited to me because of how I "brought it" and I was with most of the people that I love, but still, the best part of my night was when you came. When we left and drove home. Brushing my teeth and falling asleep with you. I hate the fact that I feel this way. Why? Because I know how I am and I know how you are. I know that I thought I wanted to be single and I know that I'm not really fit for relationships. I know that this sucks and I over analyze everything. Yet, I know that I want to take you out for dinners, I want to watch movies, go for walks and have sexy adventures with you. I know that I'm happiest when I'm with you.
  • Because of all of the above, I'm flip-flopping back and forth about the California trip. Yes, I was invited. Yes, I want to go. I'm saving already, but we'll see if the money goes to the trip or to school and a new wardrobe. Oh and THIS is the festival I think I told you about. Let me know.
  • I've lost CD's, I've lost money and I've lost my mind. Yet, I don't think I've ever been as mad as I was when I got home today and realized that I had lost my chapstick. Fuck.
  • Random fact: I'm actually a marshmallow.
  • Random Quote: "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped" - Elbert Hubbard
  • Around New Years I wrote a post about Resolutions and how I hate them. I think If I were to actually have made a resolution it would have been to eat more pussy.
  • Keep writing me emails. They are enjoyable.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I Wish

It's been a slow news day in the wonderful world of Geoff. Basically, it has consisted of long bouts of masturbation coupled with work and working out. I'm currently waiting for Jennine "I like to make plans with everyone" Banks to call me (yeah I went there), so I figured I'd kill time by posting a picture. A great picture. In fact, it's so great it's scary. Well, maybe just scary. Either way, when I was in high school I wish my locker had this amazing accessory.

I present to you, Midget in a locker.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Reconnecting with old friends is funny.

Expectations are funny.

I mean, depending on how long it's been since the last time you've spoken or seen each other, you very well could be two completely different people and not even know it. On the flip side, you could very well be the exact same person and it could be quite tragic.

It's about 11:30 and I've just returned home from an evening spent with a friend I haven't seen in about 3-4 years. I didn't know what to expect, maybe a dinner filled with awkward silences and more than a couple glances at my phone hoping for it to ring. You see, she's a different person now. I'm a different person now. Yet somehow, some way, tonight we still got on just as well as we did the day we stopped talking. It's weird how some things just seem to click and how no matter what happens, what changes and what you've been through, you just get on well with someone.

Still, with all that said, I'm glad it's over. I've been ignoring phone calls and emails for so long now that it's cool to get it all out of the way. I don't think that things will ever truly get back to the way they were and I don't think that I will ever want them to. This past year of my life has been enlightening and lately, more so than ever, I've been realizing what and who are important in my life.

Monday, March 06, 2006

What Were We Talking About?

I'm sorry for the complete lack of posting this past week. Wait. No, I'm not. Now, I'd tell you what I was up to or why I couldn't post, but if you don't already know it probably means I just don't care.

Moving on.

After a couple beautiful mornings of just opening my eyes, looking to my left and smiling, I awoke this morning to a clock flashing, 6:34 am, and the voice of a French woman talking about something or someone I couldn't understand. Talk about a dream killer.

Look at that, I'm bored. I'll try to get something up here later tonight if I have some spare time. As for time, it's time to go play with myself.