Thursday, March 30, 2006

Useless (Edited/Updated)

It's 12:27 am and I've been up since 6:30 am. I have to get up at about the same time tomorrow and I'm already exhausted. Hopefully the combination of Advil and peppermint tea will put me to sleep.

The past two days have defied comprehension. From the sexy sun burn I'm currently sporting and the staff party to end all staff parties on Monday, down to watching the game with the guys tonight and the amazing dinner I had earlier in the evening. I've been amazing. Still, my mind has been elsewhere or I guess I should say on someone else. This shit blows and still scares the crap out of me. I mean, in the process of "taking it slow" I've really tried to pull myself and my feelings out of the situation. It's not working and scaring me even more. Maybe I should get back to what makes me, in fact, me. Maybe I should take it out on the unborn children of the world. It's not like they didn't have it coming anyway.

(EDIT: Upon re-reading the post right now, it seriously rubbed me the wrong way. When I say I'm trying "to pull myself and my emotions out of the situation," I don't in any way mean that I don't want this. That I don't want to be in the situation. I'm simply in a situation that I've never been in before and my finger was reaching for the eject button because I don't know how to deal with it and I'm trying to prevent myself from getting hurt. Sometimes when you're a super being such as myself, the occasional turn to or glimpse of normality can be frightening.)


Post a Comment

<< Home