Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Look, I know I'm pretty, I know girls want me and I know I'm the man. The only thing that has ever been in question is how highly I appeal to different demographics. I'm not the most religious guy in the world so I didn't know if Christians would want me. I'm pretty fucking white, so how do black women feel about me? Most of all, how do midgets feel about me?

Well now I know. They all want me. Bad. My email inbox has just been flooded with emails from Christian, black and midget dating companies wanting to hook this sexy piece of ass up with fine young women. I can't delete these messages fast enough.

Some actual Subject headings:

"Meet Sexy Single Christians Under The Eyes Of God"

"Meet Your SOULmate today"

"Little People In Need Of Big Lovin' "

A Couple of Screen Shots:

Christian Singles - I don't know why they'd want to hook me up with a Siamese twin. It's a little creepy considering that the person attatched to her is a guy. Fuck it, I can work around it. OPP baby, OPP.

Black Singles - This girl is hot so I was pretty happy to get this one. That was until I noticed the writing at the bottom. I think she might be a hooker. I mean, it says I only get seven days free. Unless I'm the one getting paid for sex, whoring is a deal breaker.


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