Ones

People tend to think that I am a modest guy and somewhat reasonable. News Flash: I'm not. Actually, I tend to think that I'm the exact opposite of those things. That is, extremely cocky and completely unreasonable. Case in point:

I punched a baby and took a picture of myself doing it from an above angle as if I were doing it for myspace. I then commissioned a painting of it and now have it hanging above my bed in a solid gold frame surrounded by angels and unicorns.

People also tend to think that I am somewhat caring. That is not as wrong as thinking I'm modest or reasonable, but it really only is right if you're talking about how much I care about myself. Sure, there are people in my life I care about, but you're probably not one of them.