What Was That Sound.
What was that? What was that sound?
Relax, it was just the sound of your life ending.
Last week, someone I know died. It happened one week ago tomorrow. Thursday November 24th, 2005, he passed away in a house full of people. People who were unable to help in any way at all. Some people were speechless, some people were shocked and some people laughed their asses off. Last Thursday, he found out he's going to be a father.
I know your sitting there thinking, "he didn't actually die." Well, for a guy who is 21 years old, only has a high school diploma and little options as of what to do, he's as good as dead. The mother is an 18 year old hostess at a local burger joint and said that she has no other option than to keep the baby.
I know, I know, accidents happen and even people on the the pill can become pregnant, blah blah blah. Seriously people, be smart about it. Wrap it up. Wrap it up twice if you have to. Now, I've never been one to envision myself having a family. I can barely take care of myself, let alone little mini-me's running around hopped up on juice boxes and fruit snacks. I did joke that if I were to ever have kids I'd have to name them something badass. Something with so much style that I couldn't be unhappy about having them.
Now, with a few years of maturing under my belt, I've changed my tune. If I am ever unfortunate enough to find myself having children, I'm naming them after Condoms. I am 100% serious. Trojan, Durex, Magnum, Sheik, Ribbed and Glyde Ultra are all definite possibilities. I don't want kids and fuck'em if they can't take a joke.
Relax, it was just the sound of your life ending.
Last week, someone I know died. It happened one week ago tomorrow. Thursday November 24th, 2005, he passed away in a house full of people. People who were unable to help in any way at all. Some people were speechless, some people were shocked and some people laughed their asses off. Last Thursday, he found out he's going to be a father.
I know your sitting there thinking, "he didn't actually die." Well, for a guy who is 21 years old, only has a high school diploma and little options as of what to do, he's as good as dead. The mother is an 18 year old hostess at a local burger joint and said that she has no other option than to keep the baby.
I know, I know, accidents happen and even people on the the pill can become pregnant, blah blah blah. Seriously people, be smart about it. Wrap it up. Wrap it up twice if you have to. Now, I've never been one to envision myself having a family. I can barely take care of myself, let alone little mini-me's running around hopped up on juice boxes and fruit snacks. I did joke that if I were to ever have kids I'd have to name them something badass. Something with so much style that I couldn't be unhappy about having them.
Now, with a few years of maturing under my belt, I've changed my tune. If I am ever unfortunate enough to find myself having children, I'm naming them after Condoms. I am 100% serious. Trojan, Durex, Magnum, Sheik, Ribbed and Glyde Ultra are all definite possibilities. I don't want kids and fuck'em if they can't take a joke.
posted by Geoff at 6:00 PM
3 Comments:
ok, so maybe this is not the place for this. maybe it is like airing dirty laundry or things that just shouldn't be said in such a public space. but i just have to comment. feel free to delete this one if you want geoff.
i just have to comment on my surprise at your insistence of wrapping it up. if my memory serves me correctly, and i'm pretty sure it does, this would put you into the category of hypocrite, no?
I wouldn't delete it, I'm not really one for censorship...
I'm not going to get into it here, but I remember a first time that never happened because of lack of certain things. I didn't get into specifics in the post, I wrote it the way I wrote it for effect. Maybe i should have been clearer and said that the situation I spoke of was a drunken one night stand. A guy sleeping with a girl, he hardly knew and didn't care about...
Know that as far as the alleged hypocricy goes, I have never and will never be with anyone without knowing that there is some form of birth control involved.
Why do I feel such harshness comming from your comment?
I guess if you want to discuss my views on the subject, you know where to reach me.
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