Monday, April 11, 2005

Today Was...

In the early 90's Ice Cube had a song called "It Was A Good Day." I wouldn't go so far as to call my day today good, but it sure was interesting. I woke up feeling like a complete ass... In a completely selfish and childish manner, I fell into all of the little traps I always said I wouldn't. I always hated it when people made me feel guilty, or jealous or just bad for doing something I didn't really have control over. Last night I epitomized THAT person. I was sitting here looking back on what I've said and done in the past 24 hours and I burst out laughing. Why was I so upset?! I don't have any excuses, but I really wasn't myself for a while. For all of that, I owe someone an apology and if you are reading this... I really truly am sorry. I can only hope that I'll be able to make it up at some point.

Besides feeling like a 'Grade A Jackass,' my day was not productive at all. I seriously spent the entire day thinking about studying. Knowing that I should be studying. I sat in my room staring at my books for hours. I just sat there and tried my best to realize that a single day isn't really that long and before I knew it I would be in class cursing myself for not studying more. It really is funny that no matter how self-aware you are, sometimes there is just nothing you can do to change how you feel.

In a break form 'thinking about studying' and waiting for the day to end, I went and worked out. One foolproof activity to take my mind off of anything is working out, so the plan seemed perfect. At about 8pm I drove to North Van and hit Fitness World. Man its funny the shit that goes on there. Sometimes I sit and think that it would be great to work there again and then I show up and thank god I don't. I hate games, gossiping and backstabbing and that is all that FW is all about. I wasn't more than 4 steps through the front door before I was bombarded with 5 different "major" rumors. It eventually took me 2+ hours to do a workout that usually takes me just over 1.

Now I'm pretty much right back where I started really. I sit here thinking about all that childish bullshit I pulled, and the procrastinating I was doing when I should have been studying. Man, today was an interesting day.


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